Archive for June, 2013|Monthly archive page

Ignorance is bliss!

In Daily living on June 20, 2013 at 6:53 am

I am known for my ignorance. Ever since I was little my mom has bugged me about this. She said I need to care more about my surrounding.

Don’t get me wrong. I do care, but only for things that matters to me. I couldn’t care less about the rest.

See, my mom is coming from Asian culture. She’s born Indonesian (of course, me too). She’s a typical eastern culture way of thinking. Whereas my dad on the other hand is a mixed Chinese-Dutch. He’s more liberal and open. When I was growing up, I was a lot closer to my dad than my mom. And also closer with dad-side of the family. So my character is more like my dad compare to my mom.

I notice that in eastern culture (from my mom at least), people tend to consider what other people think, for them it does matter. They don’t want to hear somebody bad mouthing them, so they’re trying their best to please others. I think this may be a good thing, but then again to what extend?

Yes we human are social people. We can’t really live without others. But that doesn’t mean we have to take every little details other people say to us as a big deal. That’s guaranteed insanity.

Why do we need to care so much about what others say? No matter what we do, there always be somebody out there that judging us. That’s the truth.

And there’s a thin line between caring or borderline busybody. Some people just want to meddle in your business that have nothing to do with them whatsoever. Some really does care, rare breed, I must say.

People are judging others based on their own point of view and perception. You can’t force people to think like you do. So be it. Don’t sweat on small stuff. Even every coin have two sides. It’s ok to have different opinion, as log as we can keep an open mind.

Don’t let the world put words into your mouth. It’s your own life, you should be the captain who take charge and control of it. Just inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.

    Isn’t it amazing how the people who are never around seem to know your life better than you do?



Before my eyes

In Daily living on June 16, 2013 at 3:36 pm

This morning me and my friends went for morning hike at nature reserve. We started at 8 a.m and done around 9.30 a.m. We do this every Sunday morning. After that we will go for breakfast together.

After the hike, we went for breakfast. On the way, we’re chitchatting about something. Until suddenly we’re shocked to see car accident right before our eyes. The blue sedan in front of our car or hit by this crazy person driving golden CRV that making a U-turn in such a high speed! The blue sedan was push aside and flipped sideways! We’re so shocked!

I immediately called the police to report the accident and my friend went out of the car to help. Some people around the area also approached the blue sedan and helped. It was a whole family in the car: mom, dad, granny and a baby! They got out of the cars and thankfully none of them are seriously injured. That asshole in golden CRV almost cost terrible damaged to a family!

And why it’s rather shocking to me and my friends is the fact that we’re really just a few steps behind the blue sedan. Just a little bit more, it would’ve been us that got hit by the crazy CRV.

You know they say during which something happens and threaten our well-being, your life will flash right before your eyes. It got me wonder, if I were in one of those moment (touch wood), what will I see?


Someone special

In Romance? on June 15, 2013 at 1:00 am

I just thinking: how can you tell whether you like someone? That he means something more than just close friend?

I am known to be blunt of knowing when guy is actually try to get close to me. Maybe it’s true. I mean, I believe man and woman can be just friend. No string attached, nothing sexual, nothing romantic. Pure friendship. Why not?

Why is it that people think, when guy is nice and close to this one woman, he has feeling for her? Romantic, of course. Can’t it be that they just have things in common? They just clicked and that’s why they become close friend?

I didn’t say they wouldn’t find each other attractive somewhere down the road and decided to try to change the term ‘friendship‘ to ‘relationship‘. Yes it could happens. But it’s a process, no?

My next question would be: where and when will you find this crossroad? That thin line separate ‘me and you‘ to ‘us‘. How do you decide that it’s time to cross it? What’s make you sure it’s time? What’s pushed you? What changed?

When you feel comfortable spending time with them and just ‘clicked’, does it mean it’s already start to be something more? Maybe you just didn’t realise it yet. Or, subconsciously, you deny it?

There’s quote:

    “A nonsense conversation makes sense when you’re talking with someone special”.

So, are you my someone special then?



In Uncategorized on June 14, 2013 at 11:04 pm

Intention: take out the novel from the bag and put next to bed.

What actually happened: took out wallet and put next to bed and only realised it’s wrong thing about 2 minutes later.

Clear sign of insanity. My brain playing trick on me for sure.


Badly hectic Tuesday

In Daily living on June 11, 2013 at 11:34 pm

Today is the most tiring day at the office! Not because the amount of paper work increasing, because I was so busy running qualification all day just to find out it failed. Busy for nothing!

Me and my team planned to do qualification study starting today and should be able to complete within 3 days. But I guess that’s just too good to be true 😦

First thing first, I forgot that I have training in the morning. So I told my team I can’t help in the morning. Everything should go smoothly so I have no worries. But then, the problem start kicking in:

1. We get the system later than we suppose to be.
The qualification we need to do is involving this 1 piece of equipment. In order to run any cycle we need to have initial run test on daily basis to ensure all cycles run on the same day are valid. System owner is the one that suppose to run the initial cycle and they said it themselves they will start at 8pm. Easier said than done, as always. They only start at 8.30am after enjoying their own sweet breakfast time! In the end we get the equipment for study rather later than planned.

2. Lots of shits happened during installation of equipment
Cause I’m having training, my colleagues running the study setup etc. again things should go smoothly, one could only hope. But no, shit must happened! After installation, we need to run another type of initial cycle to ensure after installation of equipment, the system can still run as intended. And it failed! One of my colleague forgot to install a small piece of thing in the set, which cost us 1 run. They called me for help and I was coming over to help sort things out. (Oh maybe I should tell you this first: we’re suppose to complete our study within 4 hour window, since system owner need to use the system for their routine operation on daily basis). After found out the problem, I was rushing to install back all the equipment and after adjustment, it passed the initial test.

3. Main failure (due to my stupidity!)
Main study cycle was ready to start after that. We started the run and wait for the result in 2.5 hours period. When we came back, we’re retrieving the report and found out that one of the result is failed. We’re removed all the equipment again and checked where could it gone wrong? You know what I found? I didn’t noticed that when I installed back all the equipment after adjustment from first failure, I slightly damaged a small part of the equipment which causing the failed result. I was so depressed after that. I mean, 8 hours of hectic days go to the drain!

Today was sooooooo unlucky! Bad day, Tuesday 😦

What I’ve learnt from this stupid thing is:
1. Although it’s your colleague and friend, don’t just trust them blindly! Always, always verify each other before jump to the next step.

2. Never rush to do anything. I won’t lead to anything good. Things might just got worst.

3. Double check everything is ok, before start doing anything just because your feeling tells you it’s ok.

4. The most important point is: never ever assume you in the right shape of mind to think sharp and do things perfectly when it’s been 2.5 month of sleepless night, thanks to insomnia. Your brain will practically prove otherwise.

That’s just my badly hectic Tuesday. Hope you had better.


Hate to say goodbye?

In Daily living on June 10, 2013 at 6:02 pm

As I told you before, I was going back to my hometown over the weekend. So on Sunday evening, I was all packed and ready to go back to my daily life.

You know, my friends always ask me this: Don’t you miss home? When are you going back for good? What about your family?

Allow me to walk you through my answers for that questions on a bullet points:

1. Don’t you miss home?
Hmm, I have to say depends. Depends on what you mean by home. If you mean the country, never. If you mean the family, maybe. If you mean friends, food and (it’s so silly) comic books, yes.

As I mentioned, you can say I have no feeling of love towards my own country. I lost it sometimes back. Sad I know. I grew up with a dad who had a strong nationalism and will to fight for his country. Although he’s not local. So I developed the same idealism at first. I always wanted to be a lawyer, to be someone who understand the law and have a chance to make a difference. But so many shit happened that cost me my idealism towards the country.

I do miss my family. That feeling of knowing someone always waiting for you to come home for dinner and people to share your best and shitty days, just to talk to. But then again, something has made me chose to live on my own. No, I didn’t feel lonely. Although I miss the homey feeling. And over the years I got me realised, I can’t live with them again. For short period like holiday, sure it’s fine. But to live again at the same house, I just can’t. Actually I hate the fact that I’ve become this person. Too independent? I used to be someone who family-oriented. That’s what my parents taught me. But again, something happened that I changed.

I know it maybe mean of me to say that friends, food and life style are mostly the reason I went back home, rather than my own family. But that’s just what it is. I have bunch of close friends back home that I miss so much. Miss hanging out with them, talking about silly thing or just pulling each other’s legs. Food? That’s just something I can’t resist. What can I say, I’m happiest with my tummy full πŸ˜‰ Oh and the one thing I miss is my comic books! I collect comic books since junior Hugh school, I practically have about 3000 comic books! Every time I go home, bookstore is the first on my to-do list! πŸ˜€

2. When are you going back for good?
I would like to say: never if possible. Yup, ever since I was little, I always want to travel around the world. And my dream is to stay in Holland (did I mention that I’m 1/8 Dutch?). So yes, I don’t want to go home for good. That’s not the place I want to settle.

3. What about your family?
As I mentioned in point 1, I have the feeling that I can’t live with my family anymore. Not under the same roof, or even that close in the same country. Don’t get me wrong, I love my family. But sometimes, it’s just too much to take.

So yesterday I have to say goodbye to my mom and sister again for like a dozen times. My mom always tearing up every time she sent me to the airport, my sister only the first time I went out of the country. Me? I do feel sad to leave them, I’m gonna miss them. But I never really cry because of it. And some part of me, feel relieve to go. To have some distance from all the drama.

Am I a loner? Maybe. But I didn’t feel lonely, though. And I don’t really hate goodbyes, not really.


Home sweet home!

In Daily living on June 8, 2013 at 9:59 am

About a week ago, my mom called and ask me if I can go home for this weekend. Have some urgent matter to settle. At first don’t really want to go home if only I can settle the thing a little later. I mean, it’s ridiculous to go home over weekend for such a small stuff! Think about the money spent for air tickets and everything!

Eventually my mom convinced me to go home anyway. So here I am 1 week later, relaxing on a couch in front of the TV at home. I took a night flight on Friday, safely landed and reached home at midnight.

You know my country is not the most lovable place you can hope for. At least not for me anyway. That’s why maybe going home not really something I constantly thinking of. Don’t get me wrong, I miss my family so much leaving apart from them. But to live back in this country again, I think I rather not.

But I do have thing I miss from home. First and foremost, my family. My mom and sister, my godparents and my cousins. Yes, we’re a big family. Other than that, I miss the food!! So many good food here! Some of them I can actually find in Singapore, but taste different! Food, is one of the reason I’m going home.

So 1 week ago, I asked my mom to cook all my favorite food for me. Lately, I’ve been craving for my mom’s chicken porridge! My mom cooks the best chicken porridge ever. And guess what? I just have a two big bowls of porridge for breakfast!

So maybe at first I don’t really looking forward to go home this weekend, maybe I never feel love for this country, but this is home. And it’s good to be home! πŸ™‚

    β€œPerhaps home is not a place but simply an irrevocable condition.” ― James Baldwine


New brain?

In Random on June 6, 2013 at 10:22 am

β€œAre the brains in the new head any better than the old ones?”

It’s a quote from Little Wizard Stories of Oz by Lyman Frank Baum.

I love this quote. It gets me wonder: if only I can change my brain with a new one. This old ones is really something, and it’s really bothering me lately. Playing tricks with my mind.

I could use a new brain. A fresh start. That would be wonderful. Don’t you think so too?


What your hairdo say about you.

In Daily living, Random on June 5, 2013 at 12:57 pm

One morning I was walking to the bus pickup point where my company bus is. Suddenly I noticed this guy in front me. Why? Because he has a weird hairdo.
He has a long hair at the top to the mid head which he tied it to the back, but on the side and from mid head below it’s neatly shaved.

I really don’t get guy with out of the box hair-do. What were hey thinking? Just to make themselves standout and different? True it’ll definitely make some kind of distinction with others, but is it really the way to go?

I mean if you’re a public figure, maybe. Or if you’re teenager, maybe you still have that phase when you just want to experience something different, that make you standout and get out of the mainstream. But you’re not. And especially you’re working adult. Don’t you want to look somewhat professional?

Maybe it’s just me, if I have to choose between 2 guys to date, one with normal hairdo and other with hairdo that looks like from nowhere around, I’ll choose the first one every time. I rather date someone who look normal with his mainstream hair-do only to found out that he’s one of a kind underneath.

Be honest with me, if you see someone with a weird hairdo, the first thing comes to your mind is: what’s up with the hairdo? So weird. Very rarely we will think: that person must be interesting.

I know there’s a saying: don’t judge the book by its cover. But how many of us literally do it? Face it, we’re human with our subjective perception. We do consider appearances before what’s underneath.

As simple as buying books for example, we still look for the one with nice cover first, am I right? Or you select the books with ugly cover but only because you know the author, and their pretty good? I know I still do. So, Isn’t it also subjective?


Dear God….

In Unraveled on June 3, 2013 at 9:29 pm

If you can hear me this one time, I only wish for one thing: I want the old me back.

A girl with such shine in her eyes, full of dreams that no one can ruin it for her no matter what.

A girl with unshaken faith that things just about to get better and everything will fall into place perfectly.

A girl with so much hope for the future and can’t wait for what’s tomorrow bring.

A girl with happiness and joy to wake up everyday, just to start all the routine.

A girl with a genuine smile on her face, never change to frown.

A girl who doesn’t just believe in destiny, but have the strong motivation to make things happen for herself.

A girl who won’t give in to the situation, let alone let it control her life. It’s her life, nothing could mess it up without her permission.

I know she’s still in there somewhere. She’s never really gone, she’s just in hiding. Please help me find her, and I promise this time I’ll hold her dear.