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Archive for July, 2013|Monthly archive page

Someday

In Random, Romance? on July 28, 2013 at 7:01 pm

Someday, someway, somehow, somewhere,anyway, anyhow, anytime,whenever, whatever, however, forever.

I.J.G

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Misguided

In Unraveled on July 27, 2013 at 10:38 pm

I feel the rain but the sun is shining
I hear the noise but there is silence
I feel the static but there’s no power
I feel no heartbeat but I’m alive

I.J.G

Would you?

In Random, Romance?, Unraveled on July 22, 2013 at 8:53 pm

Would you be there no matter what? Whether I’m going insane with all the lack of sleep or my unraveled mind?

Would you promise that nothing will change? Our friendship, togetherness, everything?

Would you help me realise this feeling that I have and make me face it, instead of denying it like all this time?

Would you think you’d have noticed, that I was no longer there? That I’d stopped running?

I.J.G

The dark corner of my mind (4 of n)

In Unraveled on July 18, 2013 at 12:34 am

“Have you heard about what happened with one of the finalist of our event?”

This office building again. I know her, she’s my childhood friend, Raven. Are we working together?

“Yes, of course. It’s terrible, that’s what that is”, I started talking. What the hell happened? What finalist? And who?

“A lot of rumours floating around, suicide, other finalist took the event a little seriously, and all other things, crazy thing. But I think no one really knows what’s actually happened,” Raven said as we walk past a long corridor.

“Oh, I can tell you what actually happened,” I heard myself talking. Raven looking at me, stunned, “How do you know? According to the news, nobody was around when all this went down. No witnesses.” I look at her, acting all oblivious, “Let’s just say I have my ways.”

What the hell is going on?! All I know, hell is the exact word to explain all this.

I.J.G

Stress is…

In Unraveled on July 18, 2013 at 12:33 am

The uncontrollable urge to choke the living daylights out of someone but the jail time is just or worth the effort.

Note to self: murder is still illegal.

I.J.G

Am I talkative?

In Uncategorized on July 16, 2013 at 12:43 pm

So I have a tendencies to talk nonstop when I am stress or I feel uncomfortable, when I’m with my friends, when I meet new people. Ok, basically I will talk most of the time. Am I talkative? I let you be the judge of that.

I don’t like awkward silence, or silence in general. When I’m with my friends or anybody, I like to make a conversation. I mean that’s just logical isn’t it? And for some reason, so far I never run out of topics! I always have something in my mind that I want to share and get it out of my mind.

Funny thing is, people say I look like someone that very calm, don’t talk that much, a good girl. I’m not lying. There have been few occasions when I’m still studying, during the first few weeks of class, my teacher thought I was a quite person that will not make any problem. Boy, do they wrong.

One fine day, my teacher scolded some boys at my class. During which I just keep quite. Then my teacher said: “You should be like Inez (pointing to me), she’s not noisy and quite”. One of my friend directly said: “You don’t know, Sir. If Inez is quite, all of us here are mute!”

He’s exaggerating, but he’s not wrong either. Even during that time, I’m quite not because I’m listening to the teacher, I’m just thinking: “What’s for lunch? Can we fast forward to lunch time? I’m starving!”

My best friends will be the one opposing the first time somebody tell me I’m a quite person. What can I say? I love having conversation. And I always have something to say.

So yeah, maybe I am talkative. Try and stop me.

I.J.G

Kick in the arse

In Random, Unraveled on July 16, 2013 at 7:59 am

“When the world kick you in the ass, say thanks for pushing you forward”

I recently heard about this saying. Let’s see it objectively, shall we?

Pro
This saying is meant to be encouraging. So when you are in a shitty situation, instead of feeling down about it, you should see it in a positive way. Make that shitty thing your motivation. Something to help you pick yourself up, push you forward.

Con
But what if its just purely a kick in a butt? No further explanation or justification or positive thinking. What if all it gives you is flat butt from the kicking? It’s a different story all together, isn’t it?

They say there must a be reason for everything happens in our lives. But then again, what is the reason? How can we be so sure that there’s an explanation about every shitty thing that happening in our lives? Karma? What if there’s no reason, no explanation whatsoever? It’s just a random cosmic situation that you get into that shitty situation? What if that kick in a butt doesn’t push you forward?

Cause sometimes, it’s just a kick in the butt. Painful and leaving a mark. Right there in your arse.

I.J.G

Revelation

In Random, Unraveled on July 14, 2013 at 8:23 pm

For my whole life, I couldn’t see what I wanted or needed because I was so focused on the wants and needs of others. Now that I’ve been forced to look inside myself, I’ve seen it.

I.J.G

Selfish?

In Daily living, Random on July 11, 2013 at 2:27 pm

I wonder where is the line defining whether or not something consider as selfish.

Recently that’s something bothering me. I was planning to continue my study. It’s been my dream for so long that I want to go study and live in Europe. It’s always been my goal. Something that determined what I am doing for my life, who I am.

Currently I’m working and I’m actually help my mom to support my sister for her study. It’s something I decided on my own because I want to help my mom. The context here is: HELP.

But something struck me badly. When I announced to my family that I was going to continue my study (which means I’ll quit my job for now), the response was beyond me. The response I get it: “But if you leave, what about mom and your sister? How can you just leave?”

And that response hit me hard. I am HELPING my mom here with doing what I’ve been doing for the past 2 years for y sister study. But apparently they have become my responsibility???!!! And it’s so SELFISH of me to want to continue study and do something for myself?!! Which by the way I’ve been put aside all this time! Seriously??!!!

Is there anything that we want to do for ourselves does NOT count as selfish?

Am I really being selfish?

I.J.G

The dark corner of my mind (3 of n)

In Unraveled on July 8, 2013 at 7:30 am

So the story continues…

I remember a dark alley. What the hell am I doing there? Darkness gives me the creep. It’s unlike me to be in such place, let alone meeting someone. But then here I am.

“Hey! Are you listening?!” A tall guy standing before me.

Who the hell is this guy? He’s familiar. Too familiar I must say, but who?

“Yes, I’m listening,” I heard myself talking. “Are you losing your mind? Don’t do it! Are you willing to throw your life away, everything you have, just because of it?? I’m begging you, back off! It’s a terrible plan!”, his voice echoed in the dark, he looks very agitated and anxious.

What in the world is he talking about? What plan? Did I plan something, something terrible?

“A little louder so somebody could here you!!” I snapped. “You don’t understand! I’ve been waiting for this for so long and I’m not going to back off now! I can’t just forget what happened. He must suffer! Like what he did to me, now it’s my turn.” I can feel myself grinning, devilish.

The thought entered my mind, the plan is painted clearly in front of me. I can’t breathe. I’m scared out of my mind. Stop this! That tall guy is right, this is a terrible idea! No, it’s beyond worst.

I.J.G