A photo doesn’t reveal the person it shows,
it shows the person who took it.
I want to see how I change at this place through the photos.
Whatever the reason may be.
I’ve already learned sadness, yet you chose to stay.
When in despair, I chose to write my dreams and live on.
And it’s because I always choose to be brave.
It’s okay even if I travel a different road from the others.
Even if I can’t smile properly.
With the person I like, the person I can trust, and the person who gave me blessing from the heart.
Because of this, I am able to pray and bless those people.
Only through words, looking at those things I couldn’t.
The wishes I made when I was little.
From now on, I’ll fulfill my wishes one by one.
You once said to me:
I cherish you more than anything.
Please, smile again. Keep smiling.
I wouldn’t be by your side anymore to protect you,
but I pray for you.
And so I will. Smile again.
But sometimes when an actual example appears,
it all comes down to a question of whether or not you accept it, or if you believe it.
There’s no middle ground.
You have to make a mental leap.
Logic isn’t really helping you out.
Maybe it can’t.
Logic isn’t some convenient manual you just consult.
Later on, though, you should be able to apply logic to any given situation.
I don’t believe in anything.
Not in logic, or illogic.
Not in God, or the devil.
No extension of a hypothesis, nothing like a leap.
I just silently accept everything as it is.
That’s my basic problem, really.
I can’t erect a decent barrier between subject and object.
– Colourless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Year of Pilgrimage
by: Haruki Murakami
P.S.: Recommended book 😉
I know it’s been loooonnnnggg time since I write my last blog here. Well, I’ve been busy and caught up with lots of stuff. But then again, maybe in the first place I’m not the type who write, really. I talk, a lot. But write? Maybe not so much.
But, I promise myself to write more when I first started this blog, and this year I’m gonna stick to that plan. Hopefully even more than before. Wish me luck!
So where should I begin to update about my life?
Let’s start with the biggest thing: I moved my arse off to Amsterdam, The Netherlands! I’m finally starting with my master degree in Biomedical Sciences at University of Amsterdam!
If you know me, you’d know that living in Holland is somewhat my dream since a long time. So now that I’m here, at first it feel really surreal. Like maybe I’m just dreaming and could wake up at any seconds, found myself where I was before. But after 6 months now, I am not dreaming for sure! This is really happening!
I feel so blessed and happy to be here. School is not easy, but it’s exactly what I want to do, so I enjoy it 🙂 The city is amazing! I fell in love since day 1 I took my first step in this country ❤
So next few posts will be about my new life and how am I settling in Amsterdam. 😉
I can finally understand the feeling of being unloved.
Coming up wave after wave, from the bottom of my being.
Dark… I can only see darkness.
This kind of dark emotion makes me want to kill.
It hurts everyday and yet I don’t know what to do.
It’s because I don’t have any confidence in myself.
I just like to leave everything and escape.
But why, why do I want to see his smiling face again?
There should be no reason for regrets.