Archive for the ‘Romance?’ Category

Time to say goodbye…

In Romance?, Unraveled on May 15, 2014 at 7:23 am

Yesterday marked exactly 3 years since the love of my life passed away. I can’t believe it’s been 3 years. Everything still seems too unreal for me.

I got to admit that till now I’m still have a hard time moving on. It took me years of therapy to realise if I didn’t let it go, it was gonna destroy me.

I think I’m almost where I wanna be now. In a place where I can finally accept everything that happened that day. Not that I will forget him. I could never do that. But I won’t let it hold me back anymore.

I don’t think he would’ve wanted me to.
It’s the opposite. If he could be here and talk to me, he’ll yell at me for it. What the hell are you thinking, he’ll say. I’m thinking of you. So much so that sometimes I forgot to live in the now. I was stuck with the memories of us.

I will still always remember all our times, our memories together till I close my eyes. There’s no way I forget.

Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never met

But I will live in the now, I can’t live in the past.
So for one last time, allow me to say my final goodbye.

Dear you,
you know how much I loved you even if I never told you.
I know you’re in better place now, no more pain, I’m sure you’re happy.
Now, it’s my turn to continue living my life the way I should be.

You always put my happiness before anything else.
I promise I won’t cry anymore.
I will put up my best smile instead every time I remember us.

So watch me, will you?
Be my guardian angel besides me, always.
Be my shooting star.
A shooting star that leaves a long trail that carries love.
A shooting star that disappears in an instant that takes all my troubles away.

I’ll keep you forever in that special corner of my heart.
Goodbye for now, love.
Till we meet again in heaven.



Four seasons

In Romance?, Unraveled on May 10, 2014 at 11:45 am

When spring comes,
let’s go collect shellfish at the shore
and see the cherry blossom.

And let’s go see fireworks in the summer.

In the fall,
let’s gather fallen leaves.

And in winter,
let’s hold hands
and fall asleep together.



In Romance? on January 26, 2014 at 8:34 pm

At times when I’m strong enough to risk losing the last of my  impervious-ness, maybe then we could be together.


Missing you.

In Romance?, Unraveled on January 5, 2014 at 5:15 pm

He showed me that the world is a more beautiful place, a better place. 

He made me feel like it was my real home, that I belong there, with him.

He is the guy I compare all the other guys to.

And now he’s gone, and I feel like I can’t even breathe. I can’t even take a breath.

He loved me. He loved me all the time.
I was the one who can’t handle “all the time”, let alone “forever”.

But now…now I’m afraid that I won’t have a generous heart.
I’m afraid that won’t have the chance that I had with him ever again.

Maybe it’s my punishment.
I had so many options, yet I chose to use this terrible approach.
So, it’s time to say goodbye.
I’ve always love you.

You’re always there whenever there is light, so I must chase after that everlasting glow to see you again.

I miss you, my better half.


The memories of you and me.

In Romance? on December 26, 2013 at 8:12 pm

Until I found you, I didn’t know. Until I touched you, I couldn’t believe it.
For the first time, I don’t need anything else. Even if the end comes, these warm, sunny days are perfect.

In your view of the world, I’m invisible. In your way of thinking, I’m incomprehensible.
The gap between you and me can’t be filled. But perhaps, it isn’t worth worrying about these thing.

Often, I picture us holding hands and watching movies, sitting on benches beneath the old oak trees, hearing your laugh throughout the day and catching your smile when you think I don’t see.
And all I can do is hope that when you close your eyes, your mind is filled with the thought of me.

We meet and we drink coffee, and we talk about our lives and we listen to each others stories hoping that the other will bring up how much they miss the other but no one wants to be that weak.
No one wants to admit that they miss someone so much their bones ache.

But the memories we make. We – fill the spaces we live in with them. That’s why – I’ve always tried to make sure that wherever I live, the longer I live there – the spaces become filled with memories.

The time I spend with him has always been soothing. He would always listen to what I have to say without getting defensive. And there would never be awkward silences either.

I kept thinking about them over and over, and before I realised it, my heart was captured.
My very existence, behaviour, words.


Over and over

In Romance?, Unraveled on November 3, 2013 at 9:49 am

I’ve been having this same dream over and over again.

At that time, I kept my head down so I didn’t see what expression he had in his face.

Those words still ring in my ears even after I woke up.

Why is it that you can forget me just like that,

while I’m the only one who can’t forget anything at all?

I’m foolish doing the same thing all over again.

It’s like seeing the same dream over and over.

I couldn’t tell lies, nor could I say the truth.



In Romance?, Unraveled on September 7, 2013 at 3:11 pm

Who is the person that your eyes attracted to?
That your hands protect?
That your voice calls out to?



In Random, Romance? on September 4, 2013 at 8:33 pm

Suddenly I was struck with the urge to cry.
Even if I want to move forward, I’m scared of what could happen.
I don’t know what should I do.
It terrifies me.

I’ve been trying not to think about the things I wanted but couldn’t have.
I thought that life was all about things you couldn’t have.
Some part of me had given up wanting anything. I’m human, aren’t I?
Even though I knew that this was pointless, why did I fall in love?


Necessary coincidences

In Random, Romance?, Unraveled on September 2, 2013 at 10:31 pm

On the path where coincidences are all piled up, how far in the future will it be when we can see what things are necessary.

If you could let me think, coincidence that’s related to me was something necessary to this path you’re continuing on.

If a day like that comes, I think that would be something to be happy about. Please let this “coincidence” be something necessary to him.


Perfect time to say goodbye

In Random, Romance?, Unraveled on August 12, 2013 at 6:55 am

When you left,
Far away and never coming back,
I will make my peace with it,
Because I know you’re happy over there, forever,
Even without me.

I will understand what love is,
With everything we’ve been through,
I will make sure all the memories we shared stays,
I keep it dear in my heart.

Could I survive without you?

As the rain hugs me, when I saw you fade away,
This is the perfect time to say goodbye.

As the storm caress me, when I saw you looking back at me,
Your footprints whispered,
This is the perfect time to say goodbye.

I’ll never wish you coming back,
When you find your place there,
I’ll never wait for you to come back,
As I know you’d find happiness,
In the warmth of your peaceful blanket.

    Dedicated to my beloved Clay, who was once means the world to me. Even when I didn’t really know it then. Or too scared to admit it.

    The one who always believed in me, that I’m better than what I think I am.

    The one who always be there, in good and bad times, even though I kept pushing him away. He just, stayed.

    The one who brought me that small ray of light that happily ever after might be true after all.

    Happy birthday, Love. I know you’re happy now in heaven. I love you, always.